Pelosi Falsely Claims Trump Fired Mueller, ‘So Furious I Can Barely Write’

    How To Pay Off Your House ASAP (So Simple It’s Unbelievable)
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    If you’re not a fan of California Democrat Rep. Nancy Pelosi, watching her diminishing returns as House minority leader — particularly on camera — can be rather humorous.

    I mean, this is someone who once criticized President Donald Trump for not visiting countries in alphabetical order (I think she may have been trying to make a funny, but even Andy Kaufman never elicited crickets like that) and constantly stammers through even the simplest questions at news conferences.

    Pelosi’s foibles are funny in their own little way, albeit … well, somewhat indicative of someone reaching retirement age. However, they’ve mostly been humorous to those who cover politics as opposed to a serious sign she should go. (She’s given plenty of those with her policy positions, but that’s for another day.)

    That, however, may have changed on Friday, when Pelosi fired off a fundraising email under the auspices of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee.

    The title? “Muller FIRED.”

    No, you didn’t miss anything. You may begin to see the problem here — which, in fairness, the body of the email made clear Pelosi was somewhat aware of.

    “I’m so furious I can barely write this email,” the email read, according to the Washington Examiner. “President Trump is inches away from firing Robert Mueller and derailing the entire Russia investigation.”

    Inches! Inches! It’s quite the cliffhanger, this Russia investigation … which seems, uh, rather more interested these days in whether or not Michael Cohen went through the proper steps to secure a non-disclosure agreement from a porn actress. But never mind!

    Pelosi (or one of her aides) went on to write that “my Republican colleagues are actively HELPING him. They’re jeopardizing our democracy, our national security, and the safety of every election we hold. Frankly, they can’t be trusted.”

    So, how can you defeat those dastardly, untrustworthy Republicans who are jeopardizing the very future of this country? “I need a MASSIVE 24-hour fundraising surge to send them a powerful message: If they let Trump fire Mueller, we’ll kick each and EVERY one of them out of office.” Of course you do.

    This has everything to do with sending a message and nothing to do with the fact that the Democrats, despite being tipped to have a good chance at winning the House and possibly Senate back this November, have been left relatively penurious after Hillary Clinton’s 2016 loss. And you made sure to note in the email that this message could be sent directly in increments of $1, $35, $50, $100 and $250, assiduously hyperlinking the donation page for each amount to make sending that message easier than ever.

    How To Pay Off Your House ASAP (So Simple It’s Unbelievable)
    How To Pay Off Your House ASAP (So Simple It’s Unbelievable)

    Now, granted, it’s entirely possible — in fact, likely — that this email was written by an intern. Pelosi wasn’t “so furious I can barely write this email.” She did, however, almost certainly have to sign off on it — especially since it faked people into believing that Mueller had been fired. And she thought it was a good idea. Wonderful.

    You can tell why even the media stayed away from this one.

    For his part, the president insists that he’s not looking to fire Robert Mueller. As of right now, the special counsel remains very employed and mostly doing the bidding of enraged Hillaristas still absolutely convinced some wretched Boris-and-Natasha scheme cost them the election.

    So, sorry Nancy. You’re going to have to save that email topic for another day.

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